My Evolution

My Evolution




I have built up these walls

These barriers

In an attempt to

Protect

And conceal

What is sacred…ME.



I have created these doubts

These fears

Given them names

And deemed them truth

All in the attempt

To protect

Blissful ignorance and denial.



I have silenced

That inner voice

That gut feeling

That nagging sensation that keeps

Tearing at the very fabric of my entire DNA..



And..



I



Am tired.





I am so FUCKIN' tired!

Forgive the profane

“oh behave” some say

But im so damn tired of fooling myself…



So tired of abusing

My health

And wealth

And sanity!



All for the sake of “normalcy” and comfort

but at this point,

It no longer feels worth it!



And when I say it no longer feels worth it,

I will not spend another moment

I will not take another breathe

Until MY wounds

And MY heart

Has been healed to the depths of my soul!



At one point I was whole



But after getting caught up in "survival mode"

Along the way I somehow

Lost parts of I.



And so,



I



lay



prostrate



In great wait



No debating it is so clear to me now.



Never too late to start again

I transcend



I let go



I forgive

go withIN!



No more fears.

I trust ME now

more

than

ever.



And I anticipate

With no resistance



MY EVOLUTION.



Copyright Helen Marie May 2010



PEACE loves YOU INSPIRE ME!! :)

We Need You

WE NEED YOU

We need you.

Not like air

Cuz that you cannot give.

But we need you there like,

Strong arms to carry

That which our shoulders cannot bear

Like…

KNOWLEDGE.

Not to be mistaken for college

We need your innate knowings

That stems from growing up in situations unfit for a king but,

STILL!...

The way you navigate

And make your way towards the top

Nothing can stop you

HOW?

Sometimes I wonder just how could we make it without you?

You be the perfect depiction

GOD reflection is all I see

Kings you BE.

NEVER a “was”

Cuz even tho cousins

And uncle’s

And daddy’s

And brothas forget.

Your remembrance has nothing to do with who you are.

I said your REMEMBRANCE has nothing to do with WHO you ARE.

So even for those

Who don’t know

It’s not too late..

And even if time has passed

The great "dictate" over time and space

Really proves nothing,

Because even if

Decades and centuries have passed

Your bloodline still outlasts

Slavery, the civil rights movement,

And the current situation at hand

You

will always

BE

The original prototype

We <3>

Black Man!

And so like I said,

We need you…

We: Mother, Daughter, Sister Wife.

We need you to do more than survive,

We need you to fight!

We need you to build

We need you to create

We need you to unite and take back what HAS ALWAYS BEEN OURS!

Sun, Moon Stars

We are STILL connected

Queens, heirs to the throne,

Waiting for

YOUR resurrection,

ARISE and come home!

Peace and Love~ Helen Marie Copyright May 2010

That Thing

What is that thing?
U know
That thing that you are just dying to do
Dying so fast
Cuz ur just WAITING to live to see the day that it is real?
What is that passion?
I mean that passion that u can not muzzle
U cannot control
And the more u attempt
The heavier the load
And burden
What is that call?
That call that wakes u up
3’oclock in the morning
Just provoking u to CHANGE
And TRUST
And Become?
What is that dream?
That dream that u have forgotten
In ur adult years
When “responsibility”
“reason” and “logic”
All became best friends and interrupted ur plans by saying
”time to grow up, and be realistic”

Have u identified it yet??
U know…
That THING?
Because if so that is the thing
U should so passionately be pursuing
U should be chasing ur dreams and pursuing ur purpose
As if ur LIFE depended on it..
Because guess what..
It does!

And not just yours,
Because, whether u know it or not…
The joke is sorta on u,
It is NOT all about u.
Your existence plays a part
In a bigger scheme of things
That transcends all your titles
Ur house
ur car
And your “fancy degree”
THAT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE.

That is what u HAVE
But WHY u are here is a totally different thing
And like I said
If is beyond u.

There are others…waiting.

They are waiting for u to wake up one day
Kick ur fears ass
and re claim ur inheritance

there are those waiting
in trenches
and projects
who have no strength
or direction
no guide
and you are the answer!

I’m not saying u have to be perfect
But perfection is found in your choice to evolve!

There is nothing “safe” and admirable” about you not being your SELF.
You were born to make a mark
In the history of this world
So…

I know that this might have come
At an “inconvenient” time in ur life…
Maybe u just got that promotion at the job that you HATE,
Or maybe u just "hit the lotto"
Or just wait….

Let me guess,
U feel “it’s too late”…right?

Well…

If u choose
To stay sleep
I assure u
No one will blame u.
And if ur ok with only using 10% of your brain then..
Goodnight.
But just know
That "THING"
it still exists.
and will forever patiently waiting
for that right time
when you will
embrace it.